Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Birth story

*The unabridged version of the story. Hope you're lying down and have some time on your hands. May take awhile to read :)
**This may go into some gory details (more info than you want to know)...just keep that in mind especially if you haven't had a baby yet.
I wanted to write down the events of Macie's birth before I forget. As you recall I woke up early Wednesday morning, the 27th at 3am and blogged, mostly out of boredom. This starts from that last blog.....3 hours later I woke up at 6am and felt like I peed myself but knew it was probably my bag of water that broke. It wasn't gushing and it was clear so I did doubt for a second but deep down I knew. Well since this is my fourth, and it was 6am and everyone was sleeping I knew I didn't have to wake up everyone and run around the house in a panic eager to leave for the hospital. Jeff and kids woke up about 6:45am I told Jeff my water broke. We kept it on the down-low from the kids because I didn't want them to get all excited and crazy and then distracted and/or worried at school. We sent off Sydney to school. Then we packed our things and we did end up telling Jordyn and Levi we were going to the hospital, because by that point I had soiled through 3 pairs of underwear before I finally got the bright idea to finally wear a pad (i had a lot on my mind so brain farting i.e. the pad thing skipped my thought process). I knew the baby was coming today. We dropped off the kids at my friend's home and got to the hospital and admitted at about 9:30. The nurse asked to have my pad to get it tested to see if it was amniotic fluid. I gave it to her and her immediate response was, "oh that's definitely amniotic fluid. You aren't going anywhere." It made Jeff and I laugh how she said it. At that point I was dilated to a 4.5-5 and effaced at 60%. We waited in triage for awhile. My blood pressure was high: 134/91 so they drew some blood and they wouldn't let me walk around the hospital until they got doctor's permission. While in triage, my contractions were irregular and painless.
I got the clear. I wanted to walk around. My goal for this pregnancy was to start labor on my own. I didn't want pitocin but I did want an epidural when the time came. Jeff and I walked around the hospital for 40 minutes. Jeff talked to me about joints, since he had a quiz that night and this was his way of studying. To be honest, I zoned out when started talking about "balls and sockets." I was thinking about the day, our life changing with welcoming a new member to our family, my kids, the birth, and so much more.
We also talked about naming our little girl. Jeff had liked the name Lexi for 3 years. Up until 3 weeks ago Lexi was also at the top of my list. Until one morning I woke up super early and was thinking about names. The name Macy came to mind out of nowhere. I've never known of a Macy but I liked it and researched it on baby name websites. I learned that it is also spelled Macey and Macie. In one language (i forget) it means "weapon", that was a downside, and another language it is derived from Maccias which is also Matthew, which means "Gift of God." Levi really loved the name Macie and he was the one that kept saying, "baby sister" when we were still in Alaska and I wasn't pregnant or even thinking about it. So in some ways I really wanted him to have an opinion on the name since I believe he knew we were suppose to have another baby, and a girl at that. So back to my story, see TMI!, while walking around the hospital on the 3rd floor, we walked by a bulletin board and I glimpsed at a baby announcement. Her name was Macie. Crazy, I thought.
Got back to my delivery room (#319). They asked what my plan was, in terms of pain management, to which I told them that I wanted an epidural but wanted to avoid pitocin. The checked my blood pressure again and baby's heart beat. Jeff took a few pictures of me and was found out that his Human Anatomy teacher would not let him make up the test. He had to be there at class tonight if he wanted to take the test and get credit. (seriously, some teachers can be lame). The nurses told me I could walk for another 40 minutes but if nothing progressed the doctor wanted to start me on pitocin to get things moving along. I was just now feeling the contractions it was a few minutes before noon. They said the anesthesiologist had a scheduled c-section and noon and he couldn't give me an epidural right now but after this c-section he would and they predicted that would be around 12:30. I bounced on a yoga ball, walked around the room, took a lap around the hospital and wanted to go back to the room as these contractions were becoming unbearable and they were making me stop in my place and squeeze Jeff's arm. It was 12:40pm; I got back to the delivery room. I was dilated to a 7 and 90% effaced. They informed me the anesthesiologist had a late start with the scheduled c-section. He didn't actually start it until 12:30. Me: "dang it. i knew this would happen." At this point I'm thinking an epidural is too late. Contractions are miserable. No one is able to console me. Poor Jeff, he was trying, but I didn't want to be touched. I wanted to cry myself to sleep, maybe pass out, and wake up with a baby in my arms. It's now 1pm and I was in so much pain, I just told the nurses, "i gotta pooh" which translates to...."this BABY IS COMING!" That comment got them into high gear, they grabbed my doctor, Dr. Freeman, whom I could barely understand her English. For some reason the nurses asked, "do you wanna wait for the epidural and just push a few times and get the baby out?" I knew I couldn't wait for the anesthesiologist and had I known what was coming the next 7 minutes I probably would have waited even though they were lying (there's no way they could have done the epidural. That time had come and gone long ago). The next 7 minutes were the most physical pain I've ever experienced. Again, poor Jeff. He was helpless. I could sense that since I could hear his pain. Not screaming but crying and behind all the nurses. I'm sure he thought I was possessed or something with the screaming involved. He definitely has never seen me in this state before and I'm sure he never wants to again. I felt his agony as he had to watch me suffer. To say I was screaming loud doesn't nearly paint a picture to what really was going on. It was blood curdling, shrilling, shrieking, screaming from me at such a high frequency and at loud decibels, something probably no one can imagine coming from me, that the next day my throat and vocal cords were sore and most likely swollen or something. I couldn't calm down or focus for the life of me. The nurses wanted me to hold my legs back and push. My mind was telling me to cross my legs and push the baby back inside. I remember in my head having a prayer that just repeated over and over, "PLEASE." Please get her out, please stop hurting, please help! I knew what I had to do, but it was just so painful and I tried my best to listen to the nurses and push. Finally 7 minutes later, 3 contractions later, and pushing, baby Macie came out and was placed on my chest. The nurses wiped that white stuff off, Jeff was by my side looking at us through glossy eyes welled up with tears. He was just as happy and relieved as me that this was over and we all instantly felt better to be together. It was an emotional roller coaster. Jeff cut the cord and I nursed Macie on and off for an hour before they gave her a bath and weighed her and all that stuff. She was born at 1:11pm on Wednesday, March 27th. She was 8 lbs. 2 oz. (my biggest baby) and she was 20 1/2 inches long.
We actually didn't settle on her name until the next day as the birth certificate woman was asking for it. All the kids agreed and wanted to name her Macie. It's rare that the 3 of them agree on the same thing, so I think that was the deciding factor. We love the name; we love Macie; and love that she is with us. Our family seems complete with her in our home.
A week after her birth and I can say that although natural childbirth wasn't on my "bucket list," I'm glad and appreciate that I experienced it. The biggest difference I noticed has been the recovery. I have never felt so good after delivering. I was able to shower soon after her birth, the bleeding has been far less, I didn't tear which is a miracle, I didn't get my usual "downer debbie" on post partum day 5, and I feel great. Macie is nursing well and figuring out the whole night schedule thing. My mom is here to help as she has been in the past with all my other babies. This is a huge blessing as I can get the adequate rest and sleep I need. Macie is chill. When she is awake she's looking around at things. It goes without saying that the kids adore her and are always wanting to be holding her. Levi is disgusted with her pooh. Jordyn is fascinated with the whole breast feeding thing, and Sydney wants to hold her upright and walk around with her, but I make them stay on the couch with pillows around them. It also goes without saying that we love her sleep smiles, soft, big, round cheeks, skinny arms and legs, and her scream. She has this scream that is different than my others. It's pretty darn cute though. Her left eye is goopy than the right. One of her nibbles is blue according to her pediatrician. She had a little jaundice on day 5. On day 5 she weighed 7 lbs 15 oz. She passed her hearing screening. She is 0+. She has blue eyes and light brown or dark blond hair and quite a bit of it. We love her to pieces and I'm soaking this all in as this will most likely be our last. I love this age and sadly it goes by way to quickly.


Carrie said...

She is just perfect I love Levi's expression in his photo and I love how happy jordyn looks!! You are an amazing mother! I wish I was there to hold her she is just precious! Congratulations we love you guys and also I forgot to tell you that day I talked to you before you named her in the hospital that night I went home and asked Ella what she would pick(not that it matters) she picked macie too lol

Alice said...

I can imagine giving birth naturally without mentally preparing for it must be horrible. I had an epidural (unplanned) with Finn, and pitocin and no epidural (planned) with Sylvia. I've told many people this and you can attest that without and epidrual the recovery is amazing. I had so much more energy and just was on a high for so long. I'm glad she's here safe and sound! Congrats! You're one tough girl.

Kirsten said...

You are amazing!! I'm just a little bit terrified of natural child birth. I would have screamed too!! She is just perfect and I wish I could come and hold her right now while she's still tiny and has wrinkly skin. Kiss her lots for me too.

adairfamily said...

Lauren OMGosh as I am reading your birth story I am crying, smiling, lauhing I think I could just about copy and paste your birth story as mine with Bryson. Natural birth is CRAZY and I totally understand feeling like a crazy person and the Screaming so uncontrollable. So happy your beautiful little girl is here and your family is complete. Enjoy your cuddle time with her cant believe how fast time has gone by over here. Now I need to write down my story before I forget. :)

Coordination Queen said...

She is beautiful! You are amazing!

TimShawSr said...

Precious Precious Angel Lauren, How my heart ached for you. Jeff called me that day and told me how you suffered, and I could hear in his voice how it had effected him, as you describe. Karen had our first 3 without any pain relief at all, and I just wept helpless every time. I suppose the only analogy I can think of is when the Father watched his Son he loved so much suffer infinity in the garden. He had to suffer, He sent Angel's to support. But in the end, everyone else was helpless but the sufferer. To me, this act of creation (bringing a baby into the world) alone should guarantee a woman's place in our Father's kingdom. Having borne witness of the suffering as has Jeff I can only "Rise Up and Call you Blessed." The Lord said, "in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children." But, then the great reward, you shall have "Joy and rejoicing in your posterity." And, the pictures of you and the kids are such a picture of that joy Lauren.

The comments about what Levi said about a girl still to coming are so common. I so wish I had recorded the sorts of comments like that my kids said. They sometimes are like little prophets in our home, if we are careful and listen with the spirit we know when the Lord speaks through them. The most sensitive time I felt was right before they spoke in complete sentences. I became convinced the veil was drawn slowly. A number of times my children made comments about remembering things about being with Heavenly Father, Jesus etc. I would show them pictures, talk about them and they would start TELLING ME. In broken words and phrases. They would point to certain images and say, "I remember." But, then within 6 months or so when their speech had improved and complete sentences were being formed I would show them the same pictures and I would asked them if they remembered and they said "no." This happened multiple times.

TimShawSr said...

PS... refer to my comment on May 21st entry where I say more about Macie's birth