The week of Easter was kinda emotional for me. For starters Jeff was having special work meetings all day and by the time he came home he ate and went to straight to bed. This means that by the end of the week, I am emotionally spent dealing w/ kids by myself all week. Secondly, I was busy that week w/ church commitments and my mom was on vacation and I pretty much didn't have the two closest people to talk to. Speaking of talking, which actually is about this post, I don't communicate all that well. It's always been a challenge; I tend to hold things in. I usually do because I think that whatever is bothering me at the moment is retarded to be bugging me and that I need to just get over it. Although that may be true, Jeff has reassured me that even though that may be the case, I need to get it off my chest or else it eats at me.
This week a surprise gift from my close friend, Kirsten, made me realize just how much my Heavenly Father knows me...more than I know myself. Things had been getting to me; stuff people had told me. I was feeling rather lonely and translucent. I hadn't subconsciously put those feelings into thoughts because I had been so busy that week and had done much for other people, I hadn't taken the time to be aware of myself and these feelings creeping inside of me. If I had, I would've told Jeff no matter how tired he was and I would've even prayed and communicated these subtle feelings. This particular Friday morning I had already been on the phone for a few hours dealing with people's crisis' and I had a fun Easter weekend ahead of me that required packing and cleaning.
My friend came and had this present for me...A QUILT. THAT SHE MADE. JUST FOR ME. ME. At the time, I didn't think anyone new I existed. Of course, I cried. I was in awe. Speechless almost. Words couldn't express to my friend just how much I needed this. I didn't know I needed it. Okay, I LOVE, LOVE the quilt, but I needed a little spoiling, confirmation, validation, reassurance, love, recognition that I matter; that someone cares about me. Very few people have made anything for me besides a plate of goodies (although I do enjoy a plate of goodies!). After she left, I prayed by my bedside and cried harder and longer having realized what had transpired....the feelings I had had w/o having realizing it. My heavenly father knew I was having these feelings, even though I didn't. He knew I needed reassurance that I was trying my best at my various commitments and He knew I needed a reminder that He knows me and loves me. This quilt represents more than a darling blanket that keeps me warm. To me it represents the love of a Heavenly Father who knows who I am and loves me enough to show/tell me through the talent of other people. I truly felt His love and am grateful for a friend who had the prompting and followed that prompting to make me a special gift. This will be an experience I will never forget.
A few months ago I asked if she would make me a cover for my scriptures. This is what she whipped up in a few hours with no pattern even. AMAZING. I love it. So many people have asked me about it.