Saturday, December 17, 2011

weird stuff

I'm a list person and several weeks ago when I couldn't sleep I was thinking about my childhood and lists came up. If you're a shrink and happen to fall upon my blog, you'll definitely be "diagnosing" me.
List 1:
Weird things I did as a kid
1. Put a bandaid on my arm while we we're camping for a week to see how dirty I'd get. I'm pretty sure my mom made me take it off and take a bath in the freezing lake, because I don't remember what the results were.
2. I wrote a will when I was 8 years old. That's just so disturbing to even think about and I'm sure that weirded my mom out. I only remember what the first thing was--my cabbage patch kid (aka Walter) and I was giving that to my mom. How did I even know what a will was????
3. I decided to have a garage sale in my own room. Only one person bought something for a quarter. Guess who? my mom. Moms are the best.
4. Refused to go to a Girl Scout event because I thought my mom was hiding another man in the closet. Again, I'm sure that weirded my mom out. Don't know why she didn't put me in therapy right then.
5. Slept and sometimes still do, with my head under the covers. Know one understands how I can breathe.

List 2
My dreams as a kid
1. To be a genius. And when I was about 10 and came to reality and discovered I wasn't a genius, I was sad. I remember driving home from church confessing to my mom this self-discovery. By the way I do have a connection with a genius. I was born exactly 100 years after Albert Einstein (march 14, 1879)
2. To have a $1,000 in my savings acct by the time I was 9 years old. This dream was met.
3. This one is disturbing--to be a 1st hand witness to a bank robbery. Of course I didn't want to get hurt, but I wanted to be the hero and somehow get the bank robbers. I did witness a donut shop robbery when I was in preschool. The guy, wearing panty hose over his face, robbed the cashier at gun point and ran off. I didn't see much because my mom pushed me under the table and then jumped on top of me.
4. To be a professional down-hill snow skier. I sometimes think I pretended I was one when I would whiz down the hills.
5. To win the Publishing House Clearance 1 million dollars. I even filled out all the paperwork, in behalf of my dad, and mailed it for a few years. I lost hope once I started puberty and was interested in having a life.

List 3: Crazy (aka hairball) things I did when I was young:

1. My sister and I tried to out run a cop. I was 10 (I think). My sister was driving a motorcycle (she was 12) on the streets in a small, small town in Wyoming. The cop pulled us (and my cousin who was driving a different motorcycle) over and my sister and I both ran to my cousin's garage. Of course he found us and we got in trouble after him and my parents secretly laughed about it.

2. Thought I could actually barefoot waterski. I was going 40 mph. I got up and then did a major face plant going 40 mph. It took years for my back to recover, if it ever did. I was 16.

3. When I was in 8th grade, I used my bed as a trampoline and attempted a back flip. I didn't make it all the way and fell on my neck. Had to see a chiropractor for several weeks after that stunt.

4. I was bored and clearly not thinking. I thought I could hole punch my hair and it would leave a circle in my hair (doesn't make sense). But needless to say when I hole-punched my hair, it didn't make a hole.

Pretty random things on these lists. It's kind of a miracle I turned out "normal."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who said you're normal? Incredible lists. I remember the will.

Rachel Schanz said...

That's awesome :)